"Life Won't Necessarily Deliver What You EXPECT"

"There is no silver platter or silver spoon with your name on it. In other words, if you're sitting around waiting for the dues you expect from life, you may be waiting forever and end up with nothing but disappointment and regret.

Instead, be grateful for the fact that your life is what you make it. Relish and rejoice in the power you hold in your own two hands. You are the one that can go out and make things happen. So, why not dare to seize new opportunities and enjoy the satisfaction they bring?

You alone hold the pen that will write your life story. Start a brilliant new chapter, TODAY".
www.mymeditations.com

I love this woman!!!!! :-) I would love to have Jane Powell as my personal coach. She inspires me to stretch and grow! She's also on the same "mental path" that I am.

It's so easy to take a look at your life and sit in the "sewer" of what it should be...."My husband doesn't pay enough attention to me", "I was the ONE for that job", "My life/job/family/friends is so miserable" etc. It's so easy to look at all the negative things because as HUMANS, what we do BEST....is SUFFERING! Imagine that! :-) It's true, or why would we have so many complaints or be so miserable?? Don't get me wrong....I have sat in the "sewer" of "Woe is me". :-) The one thing that I know is that I'm completely in control of turning it around or "writing a new chapter" in my life.

So in the face of your biggest complaint...we all have them....PICK ONE! Then, take a look a look at who you have been in the face of that complaint. You could "be" blaming, resentful, angry, miserable, unsatisfied, sad, disappointed, hurt, resigned & cyncial. How could you turn that around...the complaint into something empowering??? What would it be like to "be" happy, driven, unstoppable, satisfied, passionate, powerful, loving??? When you take a look, you will then see what is possible.....you will then be living a life you love. It really is that simple. It's that as HUMANS, we like to make it "DIFFICULT", "HARD", "NOT WORTH IT". :-) It is when we give up our "expectations" of what something "should look like or be", that life works....you're not so focused on your ideals but more on what's possible....:-) Get it?????? :-)

I love you all!!!!!!!!!!!

The "Meaning" behind the Cookies!!!!!!!!!!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! This is completely about venting! Just warning all my readers!

SETTING THE SCENE:
So, Monday night, I am feverishly baking off dozens of cookies for Valentine's Day. I bag some of them for friends at the gym, work, my husband & his friend's family. I also put together little goodies for some of my friends kids! I do this from the bottom of my heart and that I enjoy doing this around certain holidays. I get to the gym in the morning and Deny is one of the guys that works there....his pushing late 60's....OLDER THAN MY FATHER!!!! I hand him a bag of cookies and a little goodie box for his grandson. I also brought in cookies for my other friends and their kids. I say, "Happy Valentine's Day" and off I go.

THE DRAMA:
After doing some cardio, I come downstairs and Deny and his wife are working out together. His wife is someone that has never really gone out of her way to be friendly DESPITE my SEVERAL attempts to engage in conversation with her. She said to me, "So Tonya, where are my cookies"? Thinking she's actually opening up after 2 1/2 years of me going there, I giggle and reply, "Deny's got a bag that he can share with you".
SHE: "Well, I would like to know why you just bring cookies in for the guys"
ME: "I don't, I also bring them in for some of their kids & the women that USE to come here that I knew, no longer do".
SHE: "Oh, I see" ( in a rather cynical tone)
ME: "Ellen, is there something you need to say about that"? (Realizing she's not being friendly or funny)
SHE: "Yes, I think it's weird that you only bring in cookies for the guys and not the women".
ME: "Well, part of it is that they actually talk with me, some are my friends and some are the core of people that are always here and none of the women currently coming, bother to carry any conversation other than a polite 'hello'".
SHE: "G, I wonder why".
ME: "I do this from my heart and I love all of my friends and making stuff that the kids will have fun eating".
SHE: "Well, I can see doing it for the kids but not for the guys".

At this point, I start to cry and I turned to walk away, in disbelief and HORRIFIED that this women was so enraged about a BAG OF COOKIES. Not to mention that my friend Deny sat there and said NOTHING! Grrrrrrrrrrrr!

GUYS DON'T LIKE IT WHEN GIRLS CRY:
So, I am trying to gather myself together and I walk into another room where my friends are and they see that I am crying. My friend Rick looks at me like he's scared to death, not knowing what to say or do. Scott said, "What is going on"? He seemed a little more experienced with tears than Rick. I debrief them on the drama and they were just as surprised as I was. I also told them that I had goodies for them and wanted to let them know that it was not an attempt to get into their pants!! :-D I got myself together and let out a little giggle as Rick continued to look scared & unsure of how to handle a "crying Tonya". He said he was thankful Scott was there because he didn't know what to do & that he was trying to hide behind the weight bar! If you knew him, it would make you giggle too.

THE NEXT DAY:
I went to the gym the following day and Deny lets out a testing-the-waters, "Goodmorning" as Leo raves about my cookies asking when would I be bringing in another batch. I said I would the next holiday but Mr. Deny would be going without. I then say to Deny:
ME: "I'm feeling a little unresolved about what happened here yesterday around the cookies".
DH: "Well, she wasn't speaking for herself, she was speaking for ALL the women here".
ME: "What??? What do you mean, all the women here"? (mind you there are not many that come consistently)
DH: "Well, Ellen has said something to me before and I told her to stop it"
ME: "Does she think I'm after her 65+ husband"????!!!
DH: "No, I don't think so".
ME: "Well, then what is it"?
DH: "Well, it's not just Ellen, there are other women who've come up to the counter and thought it was odd that you brought in cookies for the guys and none for the women".
ME: "I use to bring cookies in for Beth & Carmilla and they no longer come"
DH: "Well, I'm just telling you what I've heard them say. I know you and know you do it out of kindness and that you have hurt feelings".
ME: "I consider you to be a friend and as a friend, I would have thought you would have stomped that gossip out by saying something like: 'You know ladies, when Ellen and I had our kitchen renovated, Tonya baked cookies for 2 1/2 months and brought them to the Bread of Life because Ellen couldn't. You may have a certain opinion but she does it with no agenda".
DH: "I'm only telling you what I know their peception of it is".
ME: "Well, their perception doesn't change the fact that I will continue to be generous and loving as I've always been. If they would like to all sit around and speculate on the "so-called", MEANING BEHIND THE COOKIES, look for evidence to back their perception, that is their choice. The one thing that I do know, is that I do not have friends that throw me under the bus, just so you know where we stand".

SHARING:
So, I just want to THANK the people in my life that know me and love me for who I am. Those that acknowledge my cookies are generated from kindness/generosity. Those friends that I have, who KNOW that I'm NOT after their husbands'....I HAVE ONE OF MY OWN! :-) All of you whom I've baked for (male/female/kids) that see the cookies as "cookies" and no meaning behind it! I guess there are women who think that a way to a man's "pants" is baking cookies! I am sad for the friends these women have, that they could be judged in the same manner! With friends like that, who needs enemies???????????????????? So, those of you who have seen Seinfeld's episode with the "Soup Natzie"........I take the stand, Deny, "NO COOKIES FOR YOU"! :-)

The Calm before the Storm...

This was YESTERDAY!!!!!!!!!!!! Down at the lake with Bailey again! I went for a walk and then went back to help Gerry measure 100 feet back from the lake. Gerry's decided that a 10 foot porch is better than the 8 foot he originally had in mind for his father's house! I'm sure John is not going to mind! :-)


This is the BIG storm we've been waiting for! I like that the camera picked up some of the snow flakes in the first picture. They are REALLY BIG and pretty! We've got the fieldstone fire place roaring and I'm busy putting together some Valentine goodies for Valentine's Day! It's a cozy Sunday afternoon. Not looking forward to the commute into work tomorrow but I guess that's where four-wheel drive will be most useful! I hope all of you are tucked in and safe! :-)

YAHOOO! My Logo!!!!!!!

I am VERY excited to share this with the WORLD! My friend Julee's sister is absolutely INCREDIBLE! Karen B Design is responsible for this masterpiece!! It has taken me SEVERAL months and SEVERAL "re-design" requests (because of my "duchess"-like nature) to FINALLY get to this! I printed up a sheet of business cards and I am almost ready to follow my heart and follow my dreams! I've had a couple of new people inquire about my coaching which leaves me feeling VERY inspired! Right now is the best time to hire me because I'm trying to build my practice so my prices are lower than the competition!

For those not familiar with this profession, it is NOT therapy! It is driven completely by your motivation and committment to living a life you want.

• Are you happy with the life you are living right now?
• Would you find it a benefit to have someone help you get fit?
• Having problems being an effective leader?
• Do you feel powerless in communicating in any relationship?
• Do you have any "Someday I'll do that/be that/have that"?
• Are you in the job of your dreams?
• Are you chronically late to anything?

These are just a few areas in which I have effectively coached clients, friends & family. If you or anyone you know, is interested in coaching, leave me contact information in the comment section of this post!

WHAT COACHING IS:

• A way of being with another individual that promotes reflection, self-discovery, and openess to taking more effective actions
• A means of helping people achieve extraordinary performance
• Having a respectful conversation that focuses on the person being coached
• A positive style of relating that can be utilized anywhere, any time
• Creating a trusting and collaborative environment in which personal development and performance improvement occur

WHAT COACHING IS NOT:

• Counseling or therapy
• Being judgemental or punitive
• Having all the answers and solving problems for others
• Coaching without mutual understanding and agreement
• Directing, manipulating, controlling others according to the coach's agenda

WHAT A COACH DOES:

• Models integrity and high standards for others
• Establishes collaborative relationships based on trust
• Treats others with respect, always using language that is constructive
• Provides objectivity
• Supports others to stretch beyond their current capabilities
• Assits others to look honestly at gaps in their attitudes/behaviors that decrease their interpersonal effectiveness
• Tells the truth in a way that enables others to hear it and grow as a result
• Promotes discovery of possibilities, solutions and alternatives

Feels Like SPRING!!!!!!!!

This is the new piece of property down on the lake that Gerry will be building on this spring! I will not be seeing my husband for several months as he will be "the contractor" building the house that his dad will eventually move into! The picture doesn't do the property much justice but it's all very exciting! :-)

Of course, Bailey could not help but try to play on the lake and fell through the ice! This is the picture taken just before he took a quick plunge. An adrenaline rush for SURE! I was a little scared, to say the least! Bailey and I enjoyed our walk around the lake even after the drama. It was a good boost to the spirits and warding off that feeling of "blah" today....nice warm weather in FEBRUARY! There was nothing more enjoyable than to smell fresh, warm air. Not to mention, meeting someone new. I bumped into a complete stranger while taking pictures of the property! I talked with him and we discussed his ice fishing journey! All of you that know me, would be SURPRISED to know that the conversation lasted less than 10 minutes. I think Bailey had some part in all of it! He was sooooooo excited to get out of the house and sniff things out that he kept trying to move me along. Ha, ha, ha!

Looks like a quiet night at home tonight! Got to get rested for the game/party tomorrow night at Dennis & Patti's! I'm not excited that I will not be cheering my man Tom Brady and the Patriots! So, I think the women will be spending more time in the hot tub while the guys cheer on the Steeler/Seahawks!